It's a climb

This blog has really turned into therapy for me. I share it, in hopes that I might be able to help someone who is going through infertility in some way as well. It is a hard, scary, emotional, but as I have a learned through sharing, it does not have to be lonely battle. I am so grateful for all of the love and support we received with our last post. I received so many messages and learned of so many of my friends who have been struggling with this for years. Bryce and I are only just beginning this journey.  I might be sharing too much info, but then again it might be helpful for someone else.

These past few weeks has been a whirlwind for our family.   In January and February, my fertility specialist had a variety of tests ran. Mostly blood work to test my thyroid, progesterone, hormone levels, and many others. He also ran a test to look at the shape of my uterus and look closely at my ovaries. Everything came back looking normal. The only thing the specialist found is that I have polycystic ovaries, not the syndrome.  He was not worried about me having polycystic ovaries, because I do not have the syndrome. He told me to take a baby aspirin a day, and continue taking prenatal.  He  told us us that we can start trying whenever we felt ready again. He gave me Endometrin pills to take twice a day, the moment I found out I was pregnant again.  This was to give my body extra progesterone to help my body maintain the pregnancy.

Well getting the news that everything was normal, made us excited to try again. The specialist did not seem to concern about the pain I experienced during the first two pregnancies, so I decided  I should not be either.  In March, Bryce and I decided we would try again.   I must be super fertile, because I immediately got pregnant. This time I was making a note of everything, and marking when things began. Before I knew I was pregnant, I started to experience sharp pain in my lower right abdomen.  A couple of days later, I found out I was pregnant, but the pain only escalated.  On Easter Sunday, Bryce and I received the news that my hcg levels had dropped  and we knew this pregnancy was over.

Oddly, this miscarriage has been easier. I think it is because I know without a doubt that the pain is a factor.  Also during this miscarriage, Bryce and I have felt that adoption has been placed in our hearts.  As soon as it was, we feel like a huge burden has been lifted from our shoulders.  Do not get us wrong, we are not giving up on having our own children. In fact I have another appointment with my specialist on Tuesday. We just feel that there are children who need a loving home and it would be our great honor to become the parents to one (or maybe more) of those children.

We know we are on a journey.  We just do not know what is ahead of us. We are excited for our future and in growing our family.  Life is climb. We constantly need to be working our way towards something.   Someone at church today said, trials lead to miracles. This is how we choose to look at our trials. We in fact, are seeing miracles already.

Hope all of you are doing well!